I’m doing a talk on the 30th March at 5.15pm at the Ramshorn Theatre in Glasgow and feel remarkably relaxed about it. These events used to terrify me. I’d hyperventilate beforehand and then spend an hour on stage not moving my head even a tiny little bit. I think I thought it’d fall off if I did.
The first event I did was at the Melbourne Writers’ festival in 2007. I hadn’t been home to Australia for two years and believed I was arriving home gloriously. Our Helen, now a published author. My ex-girlfriend Helen, creative rather than crazy.
To add to the drama, I asked my family – 80% of the audience – not to talk to me till after the event. So I saw my Mum and Dad and all the others for the first time from my non-head-moving position on stage.
It was awful.
And the reviews were even worse.
So, not a glorious return in the end.
I‘m much more relaxed now because I’ve done it a lot, and also because I no longer wonder why the hell anyone would want to listen to me blab and read. I know why – because they are either related to me, or nuts.
(If you are one of the above, please do come along! The wine is free.)