Congratulations! You’ve given birth to beautiful, healthy, 7 pound 8 ounce… SLUT

 

The girl in the short skirt is not a slut. She’s your cousin.

The woman who’s had too much to drink is not a slut. She’s your sister.

The woman with the large breasts is not a slut. She’s your mother.

The woman who’s naked on the internet is not a slut. She’s your first love.

The woman who enjoys sex is not a slut. She’s the girl next door, and the girl next door to the girl next door, and the girl next door to the girl next door to the girl next door.

When you feel the urge to say the word “slut”, try one of these two strategies:

  1. Instead of saying the word slut, replace it with the word Emma or Beth or Katherine or Nayla or Maria – i.e. the replace it with the name of the girl or woman to whom you are referring.
  1. Shut the fuck up.

Viral is now out on kindle – you can get it here now.

The posh paperback is out 04.02.2015 – you can pre-order here.

 

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~ by helenfitzgerald on January 30, 2016.

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